Opportunity is everywhere. For so many, there is a fear of asking for what you want. We make up stories in our head about what the outcome would be, what the other party is thinking, and what the possible outcome might be. One thing is for sure, if you never ask, the answer will always be NO!
When it comes to opportunity, the worst thing anyone can say is no!
Much of this fear is based upon something called Imposter Syndrome. As per an article in Psychology Today: “People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.”
Interestingly enough, the article goes on to describe that this syndrome disproportionately affects those of us who are high achievers and or hold multiple advanced degrees.
We tend to connect our self worth with our achievements, our degree(s), and or our titles. There is this fear that if we ask, and the answer is no, that somehow it is connected to who we are as individuals.
We need to stop connecting rejection with our self worth.
What can you do to help you overcome the fear of asking? Follow my 3 simple steps
- Do not make assumptions. When you hear of an opportunity, don’t assume that the person you want to ask will say no. This assumption can stop you in your tracks. Remember, you are not a mind reader and have no idea what the other person is thinking.
- Do not connect your self worth to the answer. As I talked about in the first edition of the Transformation Times, your mindset matters. Just because someone is not interested in what you have to offer, it has NOTHING to do with your value as a human being. You are not a failure! You just simply failed to generate a yes and there is a big difference between the two.
- Take the first step and ASK! The word ‘no’, is just a word. Stop giving it power and take that first step. Once you start to face your fears, asking will not be so scary.
If you need help to speak at your event, work with your team, or individual coaching, schedule an initial call with me, free of charge, just click on this link!
Also be sure to check out my suggested books list to help you drastically improve your life!
Ah, and remember to hit Like and share this article 😉
About me: I am the founder of Metamorphosis Coaching which specializes in team cohesion and communication. Professional speaker – Certifications in Executive Coaching, Team Coaching/Facilitation, Emotional Intelligence, and Happiness Studies. I’ve spent 20 years working with leaders to build happier and more fulfilled teams.
